A Culture, A Lifestyle
I get a similar version of the same reaction almost every time I come to one of Mike's games, and definitely when I come to a game coached by someone else: "Ohhh, it's so nice that you come...even though it's not your own kids' game." Well, less often as the season wears on.. but still.
The first Minutemen game I attended was a doubleheader on Father's Day, 2012. I was late to Game 1. Very late. I struggled to keep my then-three-year-old and 11-month-old off the field.
>> "Which one's yours?" a nearby adult asked.
>> "Huh?" [They're both mine! But they look like their dad. God. When will that get old?!]
>> "Which player is yours?!" Ohhh! Shoot. More on that another time.
Ten years before that Father's Day doubleheader, Coach Mike and I were already dating a few years. Going to his baseball games was part of my summer social calendar. I learned pretty early on that if I didn't know baseball I was GOING.TO.LEARN.IT. I was a transplant from Chicago, so his social circle became mine. I understood the game and could follow it, as a North-Sider Cubs fan, and landed in Boston just in time for the best run in Red Sox history.
When Mike first invited me to a game, he warned me that, while it was fun (grown men who love baseball, have day jobs, and want to continue playing), they took it seriously (there are paid umpires, playoffs, annual banquets, awards, etc...). My first game was a Brighton Black Sox game at Nipper Maher field in Waltham, MA, which turned into a long stretch of games and summers and teams before he retired from The Yawkey League. I even remember getting grilled by a teammate, "are you SURE you want to come back for another game?...to watch THIS guy??"
Summers on the sidelines with all the girlfriends, wives, and extended families on the Brighton Black Sox, Brighton Mariners, and Brighton Brewers were all highlights.
The bar after the game - win or lose. Barbecue next Friday night? Of course! Fire pit singalongs - multiple guitars. Bus trip to Red Sox/Orioles series. Teammate's weddings...
It was a culture. A lifestyle. The girlfriend of a baseball player. It was the most fun!
Then there's this core memory: it's some August playoff series, every game is a must-win. We are out celebrating a great win, and I hear a player's girlfriend mutter, "ughhh...I hope they lose tomorrow. I really want to go to the beach."
You MUST be kidding.
In the aftermath of her comment, I *think* she thought she'd get some nod of agreement from us girls. Like 'wink, wink...these games are puttin' a cramp on my summer, you know what I mean? Wink, wink??' Uh, NO! I don't. Playoffs are short. You can go to the beach on Tuesday. Or next Tuesday.
I know Mike will remember the outcome of that season. I don't. Not even sure what year that was. But I distinctly remember that girl and what she said. [Adding: not entirely sure the couple survived that summer either.] My point is that some things are more important and respecting your partner's passion is big. BIG. HUGE.
Love it? He lives it.
Mike impressed upon me when we first started dating that he didn't just love the game of baseball. He lived it. And if he could find a way to work inside of it, he would. When we met, he played baseball.
Then he managed his Yawkey team.
Then he sold equipment.
Then he designed gloves.
Then he instructed through lessons.
Then he managed a facility...and a second facility.
Then he coached a Babe Ruth team to a national ranking.
Then he opened the doors to The Farm.
Embrace & Support
As a partner in a relationship, are you a distraction from their interests, or an asset? Are you playing tug-of-war or are you a source of support?
When many people shy away from sharing their passions with their partner for fear of criticism of failure, Mike invited me to become part of it. Rather than expecting him to grow out of it or let go of it, I enveloped it. Now, twenty years later, with two kids (14 and 11), I come to as many games as possible that he coaches, assuming the kids aren't already playing in them, and geography is reasonable. The kids don't often choose to be somewhere else. It's our family routine to attend his games, to surround him with family energy, and - we love it! It has become OUR lifestyle, OUR culture.
Mike and I discuss this topic now and then. It's important to me to validate my own value here, since I am in a supportive role, wearing various hats with seemingly abstract purpose. I do not feel like I am competing for his attention. I respect his passion, and he respects me. Instead, I ask how I can get involved in ways that make sense for me.
We're huge fans and it's our family business, so being on the sidelines during games means connecting with our families while cheering our players, our coaches and our brand. So yes, I'm at the games!
Sara Freire
Director, HR & Admin
The Farm BPI
Originally printed September 10, 2022
Sara Freire is the wife of youth baseball + softball development business owner, instructor, and coach, Mike Freire. She oversees many administrative components of the business and connects with many families on the sidelines during the season to gauge customer satisfaction in real-time. She writes from the client experience perspective with a keen eye for social psychology. Sara is an entrepreneur with a Bachelor of Science degree in Parks & Recreation and a minor in Psychology from Indiana University. She spent the last 12 years working in the fields of secondary education and youth sports development. She understands that while social media is a self-deprecating rabbit hole, it’s also a mechanism to build character, become resourceful and connect with your audience. Sara and Mike have two children and live outside Boston, MA.
